Tough Times

Almost one month into the corporate world and I'm barely surviving. Work has been more than just stressful. I feel like I'm the only one in the entire programme not worthy enough to be there. I don't know how everyone can grasp everything so quickly and I'm just left behind being stupid as usual. My life has been too much of a failure that I really don't feel like hanging on anymore. Then again, building my career and having a career is the only thing that I am capable of having right now.

Have anyone ever feel so alone in a room full of people? I don't know if it's just me but why do I always feel that it's just me fighting against the world. I tried so hard to put on a smile, to be strong but at the end of the day, my best is obviously not good enough. Not good enough for anything, for anyone. It's been getting increasingly hard to hold on to people especially. People come, people go. Cliche but true. People don't ever see the little things you do for them, do they? & sometimes I wonder why do I always prioritize people who would never put me on top of their list. I guess it really drains down to me never being good enough. Pretending to be happy is an easy act but being intrinsically happy is a real challenge.

Finally got my first official pay check yesterday and the first thing I did was to give allowances to my daddy, mummy and sissy. And of course, to start paying monthly installment of my university debts back to the parents. So yes, that's half my pay gone before I could actually spend it on anything. Okay scrape that, I shop almost every single day so ahem time to curb my expenditure. On another note, I'm currently looking for a trustworthy charity organisation to donate part of my salary to. Helping those in need has been something that I want to do for the longest time ever. Having said that, I realized I barely had any bit of my salary left after giving allowances to my parents/sister, paying for uni debt, phonebill, insurance, transport fee, donation and daily food expenses. A d u l t h o o d.

Today, I got to know of my great-grandmother's passing and it saddens me to know that somebody precious has left my side again. I really hate losing people like this. Even though I might not have much memories with her, I could vividly recall visiting great-grandmother every chinese new year. Also, it just dawn on me that I don't even have a photo of / with her. Whatever it is, I hope that she's at a better place now freed from sufferings. You will always be remembered, ah chor.

Tough times don't last but tough people do, right? I hope that whatever I'm feeling right now would pass soon. I can be strong, I am strong and I will be strong. Hope everyone out there is coping better than I am, x

One Man Coffee / Miam Miam / Tai-parfait

Nomz nomz + Shopping with Wanying & Grace some weeks ago!

Teabreak @ Miam Miam!

Desserts @ Tai-Parfait!

***

Just reached home an hour ago from my 12 hours tuition marathon. Tired is probably an understatement as to how I have been feeling for the past two weeks ever since work commence. A typical weekday for me starts at 530am and ends usually after 12 midnight. Definitely going cray cray teaching tuitions every weekday nights and on weekends, from 10am till 7/9pm. Nowadays, getting to eat 3 meals a day and sleeping more than 5 hours are deemed as luxury which I can only redeem during the weekends. 

Anyway, work has been so stressful with the overloading of information and daily tests. Not to mention the upcoming 11 finance papers ugh. Been on medication for the past 2 weeks because of throat inflammation, fever, flu and hives. Not sure what's wrong with my health but I hope to do away from my most hatred pills soon! On another note, results were finally released a couple of days ago. Wasn't please with my results at all but the least I can be happy about is to have attain my second upper hons. Can't wait for convocation next year!

Mega #mondayblues right now. Less than 4.5 hours of sleep left before my Monday starts but there's still so much that I have to do. Sigh, hope everyone had a better week than me! Till the next,

xx

NDP Preview 2014

HAPPY 49TH BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!

NDP Preview last Saturday with Wanying! The last time I actually watch an NDP was way back in Primary Five and all I could remember back then was how I was jealous that other schools have KFC for dinner and my school had bentos.

Fireworks display across our beautiful skyline ^^

***

"This is home truly, where I know I must be."

Despite the daily complains about our transport system, the high influx of FTs, how boring the country is etc, I am truly proud to be a Singaporean. It's amazing how a small red dot can grow and develop so rapidly in just 49 years. Really very proud to be a Singaporean and I hope that the country can continue growing and prospering. To an even better future, x